Coffee and tea

It was 11 years ago since I graduated from high school.
For me, high school is the most fun part of studying. You know a little more than what you knew during primary education, and yet, you know a little less of what you are about to learn when you reach college.

So, life is easy. Problems are small and petty. Going to an “all-girls” school (from a co-ed elementary school), made me see and experience life in a different perspective. One of the main reasons that made it fun and memorable are my high school friends. At teenage years, anything can be fun. Copying during exams, fun classes, sharing one plate for lunch.. (for at least 6 people..) Remembering this makes me giggle. But, just the same, anything can also make you sad. But it will be okay because friends will always be at your side to give you a pat on your shoulder and a hug.

It was 11 years ago. And what’s good is that we are still in touch now (at least those who still care). We see each other from time to time, (over dinner, coffee and tea) to catch up with each other lives. I even made them emcee’s for my “big day.” This night, I look at us, still talking aloud, still laughing at anything.. makes me wonder, we’ve never really outgrown our high school days. It’s still in us. And once in a while, when we go out, it comes out as well. Naturally.
Thanks Cons, Pix and Trish.

Churracos

I had one of the most unforgettable birthdays this year.

For starters, at the stroke of midnight, I had a little cake with a little candle surprise.

During lunch, the two people who weren’t supposed to surprise me, because we’ve talked about “no-more-surprise-birthday-ideas-this-year,” found a way to force me, literally push me, inside a small conference room and there I found a big cake with many candles waiting for me. And even if it was just the three of us, we didn’t want to share the cake with anyone.

Another best part, my bestfriend is here to celebrate my birthday with me. Two birthdays have passed that mommy and daddy were far away. But this time, they are here and I get a real life hug and kiss.

Strangers, in different worlds. I never thought that they would gather in one place, share a table for dinner, and eat-all-they-can churacos. (Not the spirally-twisted fried dough pastry dessert that is dipped with chocolate.)

They had one thing in common. Me. And it is indeed a happy day. My favorite people, joined together.

Broken

Honesty.
That was all I ever asked. That was all I ever wanted.

I gave you that, I told you everything.
Because I do not want to hide anything from you.
Because I want you to accept me for who I was, who I am and who I will be.
Why can’t you give it back?

Promises you gave, promises you broke.
Does it mean you gave your word just to shut me up at that time?
Or you changed your mind because you just can’t do it?

I believed you once and let myself fall again.
I trusted in all the days that we were together.
I hoped in all the nights that you were at my side.
I had faith in what we had.
But once again, you hurt me.
And I don’t know if we can still pull this off, this time.

Thoughts on Friendship

I learned some time ago that I cannot be friends with everybody. From that time on, I chose who I wanted to keep and who I didn’t want to. Why? Because I know I cannot please everyone and I don’t want to try too hard anymore. It’s a good feeling to be with people I call friends, where I can just be myself. I could say or do anything without being cautious that I might be criticized. I know nobody’s perfect, there isn’t a perfect friend as well. But once you know a person is your friend, you'll know each other’s imperfection and accept them. That’s why I choose my friends, and I just hope that those I chose to be friends also choose me.

Mga Paboritong Pinsan

Sanggol pa lang sila, paborito ko na silang i-babysit sa bahay nila sa Palmera. Saksi pa rin ako sa pagkamulat nila sa mundo. Lumipat man sila sa mas malayong bahay at bagama’t nagkikita na lang kami kapag may okasyon, hindi na magbabago: sila pa rin ang mga paborito kong pinsan.

Una ay si Paolo, malambing at maaalalahanin. Pipiliin nya ang pinakamurang laruan at sasabihing, “Ate Eunice, pwede na ba ito?,” para regalo sa kanya sa Pasko. Ngayon, malaki na siya, hindi na ang chubby pinsan na kaboses ni Winnie the Pooh. Binata na sya. Dati tatawag pa sakin yun para itanong kung paano magdrawing sa paint sa computer. Pero ngayon, alam na alam na nyang gamitin ang teknolohiya. Masaya ako dahil hindi naging hadlang ang bihirang pagkikita namin sa pagbabahagi niya ng buhay niya ngayon, pati mga tinatagong sikreto.

Si Pauline, ang magandang ate na sadyang napakabait. Noong bata pa siya, iniintay namin palagi ang Biyernes, dahil sa bahay namin sila matutulog. Pagdating nila, mayroon siyang mga sulat na may drawing na ibibigay sa amin, kahit wala namang okasyon. Tabi-tabi kami sa kutson sa sala at manood ng mga Disney movies at andyan ang mga walang katapusang mga tanong na bakit, saan, paano. Kikay na siya noon pa man, pero bagay na bagay naman sa kanya dahil lumaki namang siyang napakagandang dalaga. Tatlo na ang mas batang kapatid niya at ateng-ate na rin siya. Kanino kaya niya namana ang pagiging mabait na ate?

At si Paulette. Ang manlolokong pinsan. Ibubulong niya sakin na ako ang paborito niya pero huwag ko daw sabihin sa mga kapatid ko, pero pupunta din siya sa mga kapatid ko at ibubulong din iyon. Malamang hindi lang talaga niya gustong aminin kung sino ang paborito niya kasi ayaw niyang masaktan ang isa sa amin. Wala atang panahon na naging chubby siya, dahil weight-conscious na siya bata pa lang. Noong una’y mahiyain. Pero di nagtagal, nagustuhan na rin niya ang pagpunta sa amin dahil nagpupugupit siya ng bangs kay Tita Rose.

Sa pinakahuling pagkikita at pagsasama sama namin, ang sarap balikan ng mga alaala noong sila’y bata pa. Malalaki na sila ngayon at hangad ko ang lahat ng kabutihan para sa bawat isa sa kanila. At sana alam nila na, “Always Ate Eunice” ako para sa kanila, mga paborito kong pinsan.

God-sent

When she was little, she was the sweetest and closest to mommy. She couldn’t sleep without three things: this pillow that she calls “lambot unan”, thumb-sucking and holding mommy’s ears. And she likes turtles. Very much that she would shape the Flat Tops chocolate into a turtle first, before eating it.

As I watched her grow up, she excelled in school, had awards that I never had. Everyday when she goes home she studies at this mint-green, Monoblock roundtable in our yard. She goes through all her lessons for every subject. Yes! She’s that diligent that even if there’s no homework, she will still review what she learned for the day.

One time she told me I was lucky because I was able to spend 21 years with mommy, she only had 16. But I didn’t think so. Mommy loved her very much and worried for her the most and she told us to take care of her and protect her. She struggled when she got into college but managed to finish the course that she took. (it sounded more than one course to me…) And I knew, mommy was looking down at her, smiling, with gladness in her heart. And I was the proudest ate in the whole world.

She was our “bunso.” But it didn’t seem that way, because the decisions that she made, the challenges that she bore, the fights that she won, the responsibilities that she took, were too big and mature for her. They say, the youngest sibling is always the most selfish. But she disproves this theory. She loves without conditions. Her kindheartedness puts her own self aside so that she could give to others. Her goodnaturedness makes her continue to give even though she’s hurting. She forgives even if she’s been stabbed at the back, and she keeps on caring.

An angel in her name, and truly, an angel sent by God. How would you feel when you see an angel injure her wings? Cry and get hurt? I feel helpless, I just ask God to hold her so she won’t fall. And in case she does, we will be here to catch her.

She need not call me "ate." She is my baby sister. Our one and only baby sister. And it's good, because it's forever.

Untitled

In just a few seconds, my life has changed. Does that happen to everyone? That in just a few sentences, your life will change. This day, I found out something impossible, unimaginable and unexpected. And indeed, everything in my life has changed.

Damage has been done. Hearts have been broken. The only thing left to do now is hope. Hope that forgiveness comes before it’s too late.